Fantasy Hard Knocks: Welcome, fantasy whackos

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Welcome, fantasy whackos

Welcome to our first official fantasy site. Well, ESPN.com sort of beat us to the punch there, but this page is truly ours.

Gentlemen, we've spent hours upon hours studying for drafts, arguing over sleepers, bashing each other for our managerial skills, sweating over points and foolishly predicting outcomes of games that we have no control over.

And you know what? It's the best part of every day.

This site is yours. You can post news notes with your team, write columns on your team and why it is better than the rest, persuade the rest of us to agree with a certain point, or just make fun of everyone.

Get ready for a fantasy football experience no email or host site can handle.

This was kick-off. It's up to all of us hooligans to make this a touchdown.

4 comments:

AnonymousSeptember 29, 2010 at 7:06 PM
Love It Fitz Great Work, i think the vote should be only able to vote for one team not more then one. and the Bacon is coming for First Place this week!
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UnknownSeptember 30, 2010 at 3:30 AM
Excellent Idea dude - Please have an extra special write up on my team after I annihilate Greg this weekend.

Also did you guys here about "hard knocks on ice" - they are doing a documentary on the caps n pens leading up to this years winter classic taking place at Heinz Field
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J GrillsSeptember 30, 2010 at 4:15 AM
"Brian Fitzsimmons attacks prose like I attack 4-syllable words...phe-nominal, in-credible, a-rugala, count-chocula."
-Jim Rome
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Mario MergolaSeptember 30, 2010 at 9:55 AM
Dude, just awesome. I especially love the slogan of the site "A look inside a fantasy football league probably more hostile than yours." If truer words were ever spoken, I can't find them.
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In case you forgot how bad you were last week...

1. New Jersey Crushers: My, how things have been shaken up. It seems like just days ago that we were talking about this week’s game being between two undefeated juggernauts. Instead, the Crushers (4-1) are limping into Week Six coming off a dud against Denville, and the Brain Hemorrhages have dropped two straight. The Crushers remain in our top spot, nonetheless. For now.

2. Chasing Amy: The highest-scoring team in the league deserves the top honors, but this system encompasses the body of work over an entire season – not the last two or three weeks. If that’s the case, there’s no doubt this club is the most dangerous. The Amy’s face the Crushers in Week Seven. We’ll find out what this team is made up then.

3. One Shot Bro: This team might not strike fear in the hearts of opponents, but it gets the job done thanks to the top quarterback in the league, two top-10 runners, and a bevy of potent receivers. Two straight wins with 95-plus points scored gives this team the nod for the third slot.

4. Brain Hemorrhages: A second straight loss bumped this team from the second slot down to the fourth? What happened? Two weeks ago this team was thinking championship. Things don’t get any easier, either, as the Hemorrhages face our top dog this weekend.

5. LaDainian Bacon Tomlinson: The Tomlinsons continue to stick around as one of the playoff-hunting teams. A loss to the dreadful Rumblin Bumblin Stumblin? Really? A big win over One Shot Bro this weekend has playoff implications and would serve as a nice bounce-back victory.

6. Eli’s Bloody Forehead: Greg Yannalfo’s club continues to lug around a perplexing record that doesn’t match its production. Despite averaging 89.9 points per week, Eli’s Bloody Forehead has fallen to the Crushers, the Amys and One Shot Bro – all playoff-hunting teams. A lay-up against Let’s Party – coincidentally owned by the elder Yannalfo – looms this weekend.

7. Denville Bulls: After winning three of four, this club has established itself as a contender and not a doormat. A win over the Crushers this past weekend will back that statement up.

8. Sweet Lou’s Sweet Crew: If there’s an overlooked team on the cusp of catching fire, it’s this one. Sweet Lou didn’t look too sweet in losing two straight in Week Two and Three, but the potential of this club shined in this past weekend’s win over One Shot Bro. In addition, it’s hard to see a team with Aaron Rodgers, and Brandon Lloyd and Hakeems Nicks – the top two receivers – struggle much longer. Watch out.

9. Rumblin Bumblin Stumblin: They’re out of the basement! A win over LaDainian Bacon Tomlinson ended the losing streak and gave this ailing team a clean slate. Let’s see if they can get back into this race.

10. Let’s Party!: After defeating Rumblin Bumblin Stumblin – a team that can’t get out of its own way – in Week One, this club has absorbed four straight losses by an average of 22 points. Ouch.